Transformers

Everyone is sooooooo excited for the sequel and it is making me sick. Cool special effects and lots of transforming robots. Sounds like a great movie. But not when the movie is actually about Shia LeJacktard and his crush on Megan Fox.

1. This movie is supposed to be about Transformers.
For most of this movie there is 1 Transformer and he can't even talk. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? I remember Transformers were these cool robots who had great personalities and epic ongoing battles with each other over who was getting the All Spark. Optimus Prime was a real leader who actually did something other than say "I'm the leader do what I say." Does anybody even remember the names of the people that were in Transformers the cartoon? Probably not unless you were just on Wikipedia you lying bastard. They weren't important. The bad ass transforming robots were the main focus of the show. Now they are background characters to Mr. Angsty Teen and that really hot chick who we all pretend can't talk. The Transformers have less personality than a Twilight character. You get all of like 2 seconds to kinda get a feel for their personality than its just one huge battle scene for the rest of the movie and they even kill Jazz but you really don't care because you didn't even know who he was. I don't even remember any of the other transformers names because they weren't Hot Rod.

2. WHERE THE HELL WAS HOT ROD?
REALLY? WHERE WAS HE?

3. An Open Letter to General Motors.
You know that time the economy took a dump and you were closing down plants and had to file for bankruptcy? Why the hell were you giving cars to a movie company to destroy on camera? Advertising my ass. People aren't going to buy your shitty car because its a Transformer...Okay okay...some people won't. Not that I'm saying all your cars are crappy. Just the ones that are driven. Here is something to try instead of throwing money away. You can go ahead and make a better car. Something that might stand up to the Foreign cars. Than maybe people will buy them. Just a thought. P.S. Don't just extend your warranty again. Seriously thats just admitting that your shit is gonna break down.

4. Hello? You still haven't answered my quesion.
HOT ROD IS A FAN FAVORITE YOU PRICKS! ARE YOU RETARDED?

5. Please stop giving pretending these people can act.
We have seen Shia LeEmokid play a moody teen before. Its old. I really think you should stop giving him money to play the same roles again and again. Megan Fox is hot, lets stop giving her money to act when she isn't naked. She would make a great porn star except many of them are better actresses than her too. Well maybe she could just be naked. That'll work.

6. Is it cause he was too red?
Michael Bay is racist against Red Transformers.

7. This movie is a metaphor for Megan Fox.
Visually stunning and beautifully crafted to have a great appeal but in the end it was really very shallow. The story was rather weak leaning too much on human for everything. It was a good concept but nowhere near what it should have been. Autobots are Good and Decepticons are Bad. Okay...Now give it some depth. I want epic battle over good and evil not "We want it so you can't have it." Like giant robots on the playground.

8. Did I mention there was no Hot Rod?
Yeah...Not in the sequel either.