Star Wars

Its been a whole week but I'm back and taking on one of the biggest baddest movies of all time here. Star Wars has been one of my favorites since I was just a little kid. Its epic storyline, always cutting edge special effects, and wonderful characters are what really make a good movie. What makes them bad though?

1. Jar Jar Binks
No comment.

2. Star what?
To the masses who don't particularly watch a lot of movies and then don't watch Sci-Fi movies Star Wars and Star Trek seem to be the same thing. A lot of them have caught an episode of Star Trek on the television and didn't understand it. They automatically assume that all Sci-Fi is like dropping into the middle of a years old series and catching one episode. Then they assume that Star Wars is Star Trek and also Battlestar Galactica and Stargate. See how they all have 'star' in the name. I really just wish these Sci-Fi creators could have been a little more y'know...Creative. That way we wouldn't have so much confusion.

3. They have schools for that?
I'm not sure what acting schools these folk in Star Wars graduated from but frankly I'm not impressed. Star Wars had some actually just plain terrible acting. I'll give you that Harrison Ford go much better later on in his life but wow was he awful. When I saw Star Wars original trilogy as a child I never noticed how bad the acting was. When I rewatched them after seeing the prequel trilogy I thought "Wow...The acting was just as bad in the originals." Hayden Christiansen, I got some news for you. Delivering all of your lines like you concentrating intensely on remembering them makes you look like a fool. Natalie Portman, please just shut up and look cute. You know what...Obi Wan (Both Sir Alec Guiness and Ewan McGregor) you are pretty much the only decent acting in this story. WHAT THE HELL? You have one helluva huge budget and you can't hire decent actors? Or at least pay for them to take some lessons from Obi Wan.

4. Original vs. Prequel
The orignal trilogy had such a great story. There was one of the biggest and most awesome reveals in moviedom when Vader was all "Whos your daddy?" There was romance, action, suspense, comedy, even great little cute things to market. Then you have the prequel trilogy. We have romance shoved down out throats, we have action every two seconds cause special effects are cheap enough to whip out a lightsaber in every scene, there were some pretty funny parts but I don't think a lot of those were intended, No suspense at all. There was no big reveal. There was hardly anything to want to see in there. We knew everything that was going to happen well before it happened. Okay some people were dumb enough to not realize Palpatine was a bad guy but thats really their own fault. The story wasn't as good and especially when compared to its other half.

5. George Lucas is all about fanservice.
George likes to give his fans what he thinks they want. Though he didn't kill Jar Jar so my point is slightly ruined but we'll proceed anyhow. Boba Fett, bad ass mandalorian battle armor wearing assassin. In the movies all of like 15 minutes. He does play a pretty pivitol role but he wasn't actually even a major character. Fans LOVE him for his badassitude. George makes a whole damn movie revolving around his father just so he can use Slave I and Mandalorian battle armor so the nerds can fansturbate. Really unneccessary to go all out like that to put him in the prequels. Gotta keep those fans chomping at the bit for more though. Also did you notice R2-D2 and C-3PO in the prequels too? The story he made up to explain that shit doesn't even make sense chronologically with their orignal appearances. I'm also pretty sure there were more lightsaber battles in any one of the prequels than in the entire original series. Also they were 8 times as fast cause it looks cooler. And I forgot to mention that whole "Lets throw a bundle of wookies" into the movie thing he did there. That was slick.

6. Han Shot First.
He did bitches. Deal with it.

7. Jedi are apparently pussies.
How does one angry emo kid and a bunch of storm troopers kill the entirety of the Jedi in the universe aside from Obi Wan, and Yoda? I am pretty sure these guys could have put up a better fight. Shit Yoda could have probably taken out half that army by himself before the even realized what was going on. The whole "There is always a Sith master and a apprentice" thing annoys me. Its 2 dudes! Are you telling me all those hundreds of Jedi got their asses whipped by two guys one of which cries about girls all the time? Seriously Jedi, you are a bunch of pussies.

8. Did you even watch your own movies George?
When I think about all the cotinuity errors in this series it kinda gives me a headache. Many I have mentioned before where characters were places they just didn't have any right to be. Lots of things just don't add up. Especially when you include the Star Wars: Clone Wars into the whole mess. There are people that should know each other that do not. It seems like these stories are far too coincidental. There are far too many to list but it almost seems (like with bad acting) that it was tradition to include tons of continuity errors in the movies.

Well thats about all I can think of for Star Wars. Maybe its just tooo hot right now. I might have to come back to these some time and give it a closer look. The prequels are terrible and I really don't think I got that point across.